Night skies burning holes right through the dark

When one does cross in to adult hood where you see someone doing something that would be fun..but you stop and think to yourself how stupid it look or how stupid could that person be for doing it? Or when you look at a carton show and think,"Man.. you can't do that underwater! Wtf that doesn't make sense" Why and how did we start thinking like this when we hit an age? But how come we never change that state of mind once we are that age? It always come back to us when we see or start to do it. Sometimes it seem like that lgoic of being able to see what is stupid and what is near impossible help us sometimes.. it just kind of kills the joy with in the thing or the stuff you are doing. your mind grows with your body it seem along with the age or is this something that you learn on your own? it's not something that just turn on once you hit that age.

I once told myself, If i knew what i what i could tell anyone how i felt about it. But sometimes i get blinded by my own guilt to make someone happy and get playing the game.

The sigh in your voice the disspoinemnt in your boy make me want to cry and just run away as fast as i can, i will go so far my leg will not want to run anymore and my body will want to fall at any point in time. It's never good enough for you is it? or is that you think i can do better then what i am doing? But its not something will be in for ever, Why won't you stop and listen for once a upon a time? Please just listen, I try my best and i always have sometimes, I know im a slacker and i know i'm a drop out. i know i never seem to show like anything in this world even matter to me, but everything really does and i just don't know how to show it, it seem to easy for a lot of people but once in awhile, it just isn't that easy. Sooner or later it will be over with and done and then what will you have to show? Something big something great. but you will still look at me and say is this really what you wanted me to show you? this is really all that matter? you could do better, but once in awhile can't you say, that's really good! Once a upon a time, i just gave up. Now here i am, still behind you and you still saying the same shit.

• Post ten of any pictures currently on your hard drive that you think are self-expressive.

• NO CAPTIONS!!! It must be like we're speaking with images and we have to interpret your visual language just like we have to interpret your words.

• They must ALREADY be on your hard drive - no googling or flickr! They have to have been saved to your folders sometime in the past. They must be something you've saved there because it resonated with you for some reason.

• You do NOT have to answer any questions about any of your pictures if you don't want to. You can make them as mysterious as you like. Or you can explain them away as much as you like.

 

 

( Click for pick )( Click for pick )( Click for pick )( Click for pick )( Click for pick )( Click for pick )( Click for pick )( Click for pick )( Click for pick )( Click for pick )

When my head get started on something it doesn't stop at all, it keep going on and the more i listen to it it make sense love kind sucks at the same time it doesn't its one of those thing on earth that just make you stop and stare at someone as if nothing else in the world exist or well this is what i am told and have read because i have not been there in my life beside maybe once? but we all know how well that works out for me, I painc and freak out and screw stuff up and over react on stuff, But i know i do it and when i do it i can stop myself but sometime i dont bcause i don't really want it anymore? is this my way of telling me im done with something because i can stop anything i do, people say they cant stop there body from doing something once they have there mind set to it but this is butt shit and they just want to get away with doing whatever and blame it on something that ins't 'controlable' it full well is and i know.. or maybe everyone else just lack the i dont know whats i called. But love kind of sucks when you look at it from the outsdie a lot of the time, you see people and what happen to them when they get in to it or when they are falling out of it, I don't want to bother with it at all or really ever, I know it come with good times.. but there seem like there are more bad times with a lot of reapships then good..Maybe its sometimes is the people who make it are what we should be looking at but are those people who have been amrried for 25+ year really happy? They seen this person for so many years they know what they are going to do..its boring..the same thing.. it drive them crazy and they want out but no one understand why? But its not hard to understand why when it just doesn't work out anymore.. Love kind of sucks and some time i'm happy that im not dating anyone but thn again its lonely but friends cover that. but don't get me wrong..this is just my take on it and how i see it sometimes..black and white nothing much in the middle..

 hardly works cause then i think how would sheep feeel about bein counted?
 I mean what if its the same sheep over and over again? and i count pass 200
 That sheep must be pretty sleeply himself
 and im sure he wats going to sleep but im not sleepy yet
 so by the time i reach 500 this sheep hate me.. and is going to try to kill me once i really do fall asleep.

I find it really easy to get along with just about anyone i want to but i pick and choose who i get along with sometimes its like this person say some things i dont agree with but doesn't everyone in the world? But it's no big deal everyone can say what they want and do what they want with there life, I don't or wont, wouldn't want to stop them from doing what they wanted to do, but i feel like i can get along with just about any both,  maybe i have blinder on? or i am just ingore the fact that everyone else see about this person i can so easily get along with. Is this a bad or good thing? I don't know a lot of people say its a good thing that i can get along with just about anyone but why can't everyone else? Why is it that they have this small thing that just bug the crap out of them about a person or just about anyone. I found this qoute awhile go online i really enjoy it.

If you hate a person, You hate something in him that is a part of yourself, What is not part of ourselves does not bother us.

I started looking at it part by part and thinking of what other way it could really mean, I dislike people who are racist, but sometimes i get like that as well i look at people and start jugde them and then i stop myself because i notice what i am doing, is that just human naturle to just people with out thinking about anything about them, but we all do it inside our heads or even out loud were do you draw the line? When you jugde people you don't know anything about them because you are jugde them off the bat. but a lot of the time they jugdement we make off the people we see are true! So how can we go wrong about it? All the time just because one person you pick to be that kind of person.. you might not see it the enxt time.  

It's powerful to make you stop and think about what do you and say and when the next person you start to hate comes along. Try to see what you hate and see if this is some how a part of you.

Werewolf time

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Hmm does this work?

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I hate people sometimes...

I know have became against have kids when they aren't married.. Or even happy with who they are with or under the age of 17 or with my brother and not happy with what is who they are dating for the sake of the child don't screw up there life because you couldn't find someone you loved and now you have to move out fo ra month and get a place and you keep say its only going to be a month when its so not going to be amonth because you have to put down a plan for like at less 6 month but you cant pay for a place that cosst that much for 6 month for your jobing being so low.. So you must have someone else on the side you are just to scared to brake up with someone you had a kid with bercause you just had to get out of that town you were in YOU JUST HAD TO GET OUT so you did the dumb way and had a kid with someone you didn't really care for you just thought to marry him bercause he might have been rich when he really wasn't and now your seeing him for who he really is this nice guy who didn't go anywhere when you had a kid that was going to stay with you no matter what because he might just love you and love that kid eoungh to make sure this works out. Your a bitch and a clut and a little slut and so not old eoungh to have a kid or even should have had a kid when you did and always thought the world was going to take care of you when it really didn't and

I was just over at Fred house and i mean wow i am just in shock as how chill the air felt in that house its like 60 outside a nice sunny day..That Elephant in the room took over it just being inside that room with both of them just made me stare i was shocked for words i had no idea what to say my mind kind of fronze and i turn to Taylor and let out a sigh I love that child so much and i would hate to see anything happen to her or anything like this hurt, So young and neive she has no idea of the world around her about to be destory and ruin, hopeful they doesn't follow in her Mom foot step and be an idiot and have sex with someone she coudln't really stand..Sigh This Plot sucks and So does the chars.

People should stop complain...and do something

Did a person who ever belive in god stop for one moment in there life and think, Maybe i dont need to do anything to make this (god) happy maybe i dont need to do anything at all, but be myself and enjoy this life i have untill it ends one day, Did they ever stop to think, Maybe what he wants is for you to enjoy everything around you no worthship this thing that can never been seen touch heard smell, Did they ever to stop think? Just maybe the point to life to is enjoy that smile you see on that face walking down that street. Maybe there jumgement is so full of clouds that they cant see much at all but what some book or some man say to them, People say let them be let them beliv ein this, if it keep them from killing and shooting and murdering people, I don't think its ever stop anyone before most of the people who done that stuff belive in god it has never stoped them before. They look down on us because we dont think anything is out there and we enjoy our sunday to do nothing but stay in our pj and sit around the house. Not saying go around and tell them not to belive in it, I would never sop someone from doing that.

It's almost closing time, I feel like my Mom is getting worse sometimes or she is getting better other times, It's like a clock spinning backwards and then forwards sometimes, As if its try to get in sink to just stop ticking once it hits that magic number at the same time, The feeling being so helpless and just watching her is as if you saw a guy in front of you who was dieing and you didn't call 911 cause you guess someone else already did and walked away, you didn't think your call would have matter and was sure someone else already did it for you, It's like that but you try to call 911 and no one pick up ever so you couldn't do anything to help anyway no matter what you tried. The Docter are still sitting here telling us, We dont know as if they aren't even working on it, Who knows what it is? I dont really know, Sorry can't be more of help, Unless it happen to someone close to them or someone they know and then they look in to it cause now it hit home. You can sit there and tell me that i can't play the docter for not being able to help and i shouldn't blame anyone, but i am human i feel pain i feel sadness i get upset with something wrong happens, So telling me not to blame someone for something that they aren't really try to fix or find out whats wrong, you can go screw yourself and come to talk to me when some one is ill and You can't do shit, Don't tell me you wouldn't blame anyone, you just blame yourself and sit there quietly Mocking yourself for day in and out saying i could have done something, but yet you shouldn't had to the docter should have try somethin anything, It's there Job they are out there try to help people and save people lifes, Sooo many people not eoungh docters not eoungh time on this earth, So why do we waste time on stuff that doesnt matter? When people around us die each day, We say we can deal with it untill it happen and then time just frezze for that min, Your heart race as you have to think to breath in and out slow breath, You see the world around you drop to part like the ball you threw thought the window in the house, One day we all lose someone close to us and we all take it in diffent ways, But the idea of it been so soon in your life its the worse, I mean i have had my mom longer then a long of people had there sometime they die when they are young like 6 or 7,  You wounder went on in there mind when your younger the world seem so harmless and someone to be taken from that world so close to you, how does that change your mind of the world?, I'm older and i know people die, It's nothing to be scared of it happens everyday every second, So i will take it when it comes and yes i will be sad but i rather have it happen after big things happen in my life, I want to show my kids my mom and my dad, Even if they are still a baby and they wont rembmer it i still want them to be there.

People always have ideas and reason to do stuff someone never does something for no reason, I was half asleep before i went AHH HA, This would be the best idea in the world to make fun of yet make people open there eyes, global warming and yet Mock it at the same time, Once i found a site that TELL me What is causing it just not saying We are and not give us a way to fix it, cause I'm sure there a site out there for that, this is how you fix it LAY DOWN AND DIE HUMANS JUST EVERYONE OF US JUST LAY DOWN AND DIE.. No more global warming, Yeah? Great! LOVELY That's so smart why didn't anyone else think of this, but no.. serious i had this idea of a viedo just running around poking at stuff and everything and make people see that global warming might not be true and people just use it to scary us in to something we alreayd did want in the first place, That' better for us yet hurts us, Or maybe is it true? and we are just to blind to see it cause it will make us change something we dont want to, so we say we dont need it and it's not real and your making it up! And Since when what we did ever control the weahther and the change of winter in to lonnger winters and sumer in to hot sumer, the Earth does what it wants we never told it what to do or told it how to do it, So why cant we just say it happens? And Screw the Poler bears, They didn't try to fix there erros thats there fault not ours, They Poler bears should Grow the hell up and move on and learn to live else were they dont need some damn ice Lose that fur! And they be good to go, yeah? So why we care about them D: They will be fine they will learn to make it some how.. but off to fine a site that tell me What cause it and how we can stop it cause i feel a mocking and info youtube viedo coming.

"I can usually tell if a relationship is doomed the second I hear a woman putting herself down in front of her boyfriend. Ladies! Constantly referring to yourself as ‘fat’ or ‘stupid’ or ‘worthless’ won’t inspire tenderness from most males. The only thing you’re doing is convincing him that he made a mistake in choosing you. It is no coincidence the second your self confidence evaporated was the same second he developed a wandering eye. You told him you sucked and now he believes you. He’s wondering if he could do better." 

http://www.violentacres.com/archives/100/dating-is-competitive-manipulation

 

Take from her Blog, No name :) Its Anon.

 

 

But it's true, i was think of all the guys who did that in front of me and i kind just lost anything in them and i got sick of telling them they are better then that? It gets old.

People who have a fear of lose there kids put limit on there kids and always want to know what they are doing and when they are doing it, They say they are keeping there kids save, but its saying you don't trust your kid online by seeing what they do, Do Mom and dad feel that they havn't taught there kids not to give out info online to people they dont know? do they feel like there kids will send picture of themself to people over the copmuter? So much you have to stalk what they are doing and why they are doing it? But a Mom and dad would say its to keep them safe from people online and keep them away from people online and make sure they aren't doing anything bad online and make sure we watch what he is doing and so they are doing anythin "bad online" but what would they say that is so bad? Looking a porn? I think thats the worse thing i could think of on the net, it really is.. I guess people would say that i don't understand the need to keep tabs on my child or make sure my child isnt doing anything online..Because i dont have one, No no i don't but my mom and dad raise me with trust and when i have a issue i come and talk to them about it, I dont hide it because i know they will find it, If i want to talk about it i can. Tracking online time and make them get off at a time, That's fine i can agree with that, Kids now days to much tv and to much online time glue to this stuff, it's bad for you.

I was working on my desktop and i cut my finger it has a nice nip the top of it and there some blood on the core in there now, but i was to lazy to clean it off and i don't know how to fix my desktop now, I feel like i should take it to a computer place, but then i would be say i gave up and i almost have! ALMOST, I will give it a few more try, but i think my cd rom drive is dead, Or i just epic fail..

 

My head is always spin around with something always it never seem to stop for a min before it comes up with another idea or another thought that doesn't seem to pass others minds as much as it does in mine. (Pizza sounds good) It break the silnce in my head when i have not been thinking about something else or be held down by other stuff that i need to do or it had to be done. Sometimes i wish i knew what went on in pepole heads and why they seem to do something or why they stop to do something or why they stop to listen to this man talk about what he was going to do after he got home. Just that minture you see in to this person mind, you stop and understand what they are thinking and why they did something that way or didn't do it at all, All the humans seem to run the same away, You see trash on the street and you think, "How could someone just throw it there and not put it in a trash can?" But do you stop to pick it up? No you amuse the next person who see it wil stop and do it and it goes on and on down a line of people who all think they same, Untill someone who was pay to do this job as trash picker up stop and pick it up, but only cause they were paid to do it, We all think we are so differnt and yet we almost think they same on a lot of stuff. My head spin around and around with this stuff a lot of the time, I see something or i saw somethig done and i start thinking and it never stops, Untill i change it to something else.

As it hit me at 11:22pm, When i walk around the street or portland or Vancouver, When i go in to a story, I don't look for people who are visit here? or they people who seem to be friend another place, I learn from a very young age that people from all over the world are born on the states and a lot of them aren't from other places, they were born and raise here just like i was, so i dont have anyway to look at them or guess who they are, maybe they are just visit our land and look lost? but they dont show it, I have a map of portland even know i have been there 20 mill times, I still use a map time to time, to find my stuff i need to do or stuff i forgot where it was, So when i see people of all different colors, I dont look at them as if they are Tourism, I see them as someone else i pass by on my everday life as if they have live in portland for 20 years, I just never seen them in my life untill that day. i might take a second and see there face and not forget it, make up a story about them or make up a time and date and the reason why they went mission and why i would need to rembmer this face, Or were i was at 4am on sunday morning, why i had been there to see this lady face who smiled at me as i picked up my bagel and cream chesse along with my pizzla and carry everything, never ever gettin a cart when i go there, and kind most likely laugh to herself as she see me stack in my arms so it wont fall over as its behld up my mouth and under my arm, I most likely will never see this lady again, but if i need to see her im sure i would have been there to save her if she went miss and someone ask me were did she go? We normal dont rembmer the face we pass on the street, they dont pay attetion to us, why should we pay attetion to them? We were taught it was rude to stare at someone the min someone make eye contact you look away and bit your lip, but you never understand why it was rude? Nor did i, Some people are beaufual and breath takeing and all i would like to do is stare at them a min longer before they see im stare at them and look away as if i seen something else or i wasnt looking at them, We can be stare sometimes about how we act or how we see things, some people dont see how other people click with stuff and other people dont click with things..but still yet, we dont take a min to look at the person who just walked by us even for a second.